If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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