just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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