At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
