dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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