do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
