WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
