life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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