That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
