there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
