p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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