my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize