he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
