yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
