I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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