If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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