woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
