this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
