so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
