Can Purell be used as lube?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
