her vagine was all disorganized.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
