You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
