I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
