My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
