I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
