This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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