What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
