She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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