If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
