i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
