Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
