end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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