hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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