why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize