After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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