also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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