you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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