absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
