I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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