Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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