why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
