That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
