I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
