this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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