What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
