Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
