Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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