For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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