We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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