you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
