I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
