i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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