Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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