So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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