Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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