you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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