miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
