i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
