you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
