I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
