id be glad to
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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