I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
