the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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