Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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