After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
