Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he fucked my hip out of place.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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