halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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