It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize