Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
