I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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