Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
